October 3, 2006

Forgive, But Not Forget

Posted in culture, psychology at 8:24 am by Jerry

Forgiveness cannot return us to the way things were before the hurt. We can’t undo time and the changes that have made us who we are today. Whether we choose to recall bad memories or not, they will still be there. But will we choose to see them, or ignore them?

We’re not able to take a good look at the bad qualities of ourselves and others, all at once, in their entirety. (I haven’t met anyone who says they can.) We need small bites we can chew, and eventually, swallow. And therefore, we may say “forgive and forget,” acting as if the damage never occurred, claiming more time to work through these not-so-nice human characteristics.

However, when we are ready to face the harsh realities in and around us, will we do what it takes to find true forgiveness? What will forgiveness have to show for itself when something reminds us of a past hurt we “forgave”? Will we still have bitter feelings?

[note: this post is the first part of a three-part series on forgiveness]

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