March 24, 2009

…Pants On Fire!

Posted in atheism, church, culture, family, friends, history, scripture, theology at 11:08 am by Jerry

It was more than 30 years ago that I started praying on my bed every night of my childhood…

“Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Amen.”

It was more than 25 years ago, while reading over, again and again and again…

“For God so loved the world,

That He gave His only begotten son,

That whosoever believeth in Him

Should not perish,

But have everlasting life.

John 3:16.”

…I cried through a prayer, thanking Jesus “for dying for my sins”.

It was more than 30 years ago that I started praying before every meal up until my late teens…

“Come Lord Jesus, be our guest,

Let this food to us be blessed.

Amen.”

During my teens my bed-time prayers became increasingly personal, expressing many of the thoughts some may write in a diary (or fear to). Many of those prayers were filled with emotional expressions like a warm smile or a flood of tears.

I was born into a family and culture that have been Christian for generations. I was not taught that I should skeptically look for empirical evidence of the existence of God. I was taught to develop critical arguments to defend the particular version of theology passed on to me from family, church, and Bible School. But questioning the existence of God or the bible as God’s revelation wasn’t a consideration. And while playing guitar and singing songs (some written by yours truly) in at least 4 Christian Rock bands across Canada and into Australia, I still never considered acknowledging the viewpoint of those who haven’t taken on the presupposition that God is real and he reveals it in his Son and the Spirit that worked through the Biblical writers.

After about the first 6 or 7 years of Bible College I came to an understanding that it is healthy to listen to everything others say with a skeptical mind in order to have an informed sense of trust or mistrust (or both) in what they say. After a summer of preaching, leading worship and youth groups at an average-sized church in Winnipeg, I continued to pursue a Master of Divinity. When my pride in my acquired seminary training in theology had somewhat subsided, I re-discovered that it was also healthy to be skeptical of my own assumptions – not just for intellectual growth, but also to benefit how I relate to others.

Just recently it has been suggested to me by someone who has known me (or at least about me) since I was born that either I’ve been lying throughout my two active (ie.blog) years as an atheist about being an atheist, convincing all those close to me..

OR

I lied throughout my 30+ years as a Christian about being a Christian, convincing all those close to me.

Maybe I lied about both! That’s right, folks! I am THAT good of a fraud! I have consistently fooled all those close to me through every word and action of mine concerning my heartfelt fundamental beliefs!

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1 Comment »

  1. Eric said,

    Oh my…so now what? You’re a liar with nothing to lie about? or do I have that bass ackwards?


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